You are not ugly or unloved.
You are an unlikely miracle of existence that arrived against all odds so that you might play a part in the story of this earth. We are so conditioned by simple notions of what it means to inhabit a human body and how we are supposed to interact with others that we become overwhelmed by the feeling that how things ARE is 'wrong' when held up against how they SHOULD BE.
When you let go of SHOULD and look at your story you can see its beauty and understand your own grace.
You are worthy of love.
Write your story with compassion to yourself and understanding of your circumstances. Channel the vibration of love you experienced and practice living in that space in your present existence... your story will write itself.
What if you peered into a Crystal (Fortune) Ball right now. What if you seen that indisputable clarity that all of those dreams of being loved, earning enough money to enjoy your life or having a beautiful home...were just that. A dream. You look deep into it, with the greatest hope that you could ever summons up and all you see is now. The future is very much the same.
I have followed the most famous of all great love movies throughout my life. The story in my mind is huge and amazing. A life filled with the type of love that only exists in movies and in the books of history.
Here’s the thing about finding love – it affects us constantly. Love is on the forefront of our actions even when it’s not on the forefront of our minds. Love’s what inspires most of our greatest changes.
We want someone to swoop in during our darkest hour and save us, but what if we knew they never would? We’d have to start doing everything differently.
If you knew that love would never be an option for you, what would be? How would you structure the rest of your life? Would it have a heavier focus on career, a stronger inclination toward success? Or would you use the time to invest in yourself – go on a few more vacations, travel further outside your comfort zone? If you knew that you would never again feel the rush of budding romance, where would you turn to for your thrills?
Would you spend more time appreciating your family, if you knew that they are the people who will have loved you the most strongly at the end of your life?
Love holds us back in an infinite amount of subtle ways that perhaps we do not even realize. And the guarantee of its absence may just be the ultimate sense of liberation.
If we didn’t have to search for the love of our lives, we would finally be free to realize that we are allowed to be the loves of our own. That we can spend our lives developing ourselves, challenging ourselves, pampering ourselves and building ourselves up to be bigger, more capable people than we ever once hoped to become. We could become everything we’ve been searching for. We could construct our soul mates in ourselves.
If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for. Live your life as if you are the love of it. Because that’s the only thing you know for sure – that through every triumph, every failure, every fear and every gain that you will ever experience until the day you die, you are going to be present. You are going to be the person who shows up to accept your rewards. You are going to be the person who holds your own hand when you’re broken. You are going to be the person who gets yourself up off the floor every time you get knocked down and if those things are not love-of-your-life qualities, I don’t know what are.
We have to start appreciating all that we bring to our own lives. Because the ironic truth is, you are most attractive when you’re not worried about who you’re attracting. When you’re living your life confidently, freely and without restraint, you emit the kind of energy that it just isn’t possible to fake. The kind of energy that’s capable of transforming not just your own life, but the lives of people around you.
So stop looking for The One to spend the rest of your life with. Be The One.
“When you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.” – Eckhart Tolle
Drama loves more drama. Pain loves more pain. Negativity loves more negativity.
I say this over and over. I know this.
What really effects me, is that someone will ask how you are, just to get information for them to talk about or share with others.
I am checking out of the drama department.
This will be my last blog for a few days, and I wanted to make it worthwhile, to myself and whoever out there that has ever visited my page for some reason or another.
About a year ago or so, someone very kind, walked by my desk at work and left a movie for me on my desk. I had never heard of it, and I watched it many times that night. This movie was so sad and motivational to me at the same time that it changed the way I thought about a lot of things. I wanted to try harder, and at the same time I wanted to give up because I know that even though the movie ended well, that not all of the luck in the world can bring that type of ending to most peoples lives.
I watched it again tonight, I rented it. I felt like it was something I needed to do, it was my last chance at feeling like if I watched it, and I had missed something before, that I could get it right. I have never really been good at getting it right.
For the past 3 years, I have hurt inside a lot. I have missed pieces of my old life so much. I gave it a lot up to care for my family and I am tired. I put most of my energy into just going to work everyday. Trying to make some sort of plan to just be ok again. I wanted to find love. I wanted to be great. I wanted to be happy.
I spent a lot of nights awake with worry, and have been really worn down from the stress. I kept trying to find a dream, something that would be big enough to have a real home, and enough to care for the people that I love. I tried to find my Pursuit of Happyness. I wanted it so badly that I wanted to try to do whatever I could to show that I was good enough for something.
I wanted to get a break from the stress of what I do daily to make it to the next level. I lived my own life the way that I thought I should, thinking that I would be in line for something wonderful, something great. The disappointment does not go away. After waiting for so long, you realize that the only people that can really help to make that happen are the ones that never really give a second thought to what it would be like for someone that never gets that type of luck. They can change someones entire life, and even if you try and try, until that one person that can make it happen notices you or picks you to live the dream, it does not happen.
I see others, they wear themselves down trying so hard. And then I see some, that never really do anything to get where they are going. They really are just in the right place and the right favor of who can make it all happen for them. It is not always in your hands. You can only get so far, and then you reach the point where you just cannot do it anymore. You just cannot go another day trying to get where you are going.
I think everyone at some point or time, deserves that type of Happyness. I wish for everyone that I have ever known and for every stranger, to get that big day, where everything just seems to finally fall in place. Where you are just content, and loved. Happy and fed. Warm and smiling.
I wish it was all just as simple as that. Unfortunately by the time that happens our time runs out and the dreams have to be put to rest. They were just a dream. You can believe in your own dreams in such a big way, but if you are never able to convince someone else to take a chance on you, the dream really can not happen.
I do really like this movie though. I am watching it again before the rental is up. I hope that you watch it also if you are looking for hope. I hope all of your dreams come true.
Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I see that you’ve grown over night. Your face is more defined, your eyes look older. A part of me is excited and in awe; I know you have so much ahead of you. Another part is scared because time is racing and I can’t slow it down. I’m afraid that I haven’t always been awake and noticing, and that somehow I have slept through the magic of your growing. I wonder, have I enjoyed you enough? Have I given you what you needed? Is your heart still whole? Is your spirit unbroken?
I’m not always good at this. I’m not always as good as I want to be at being your mom. I want to be great; and sometimes I am, but sometimes I’m not.
Sometimes I get it, and sometimes I don’t.
Sometimes I do it right, and sometimes I completely miss it.
Everyday I make mistakes.
Sometimes I snap when I should be sensitive. Sometimes I lecture and give chores when what you needed was a hug. Sometimes I completely and utterly miss it. I know that I do. I mistake your pain for complaining or your sad heart for a bad attitude. I watch myself miss it, and later I grieve that I didn’t respond differently.
I miss it when I am tired, and you get my leftovers at the end of a long day. I wish that you didn’t, but sometimes you do.
I miss it when I am scared. I am scared of big things and little things. I really thought adults had it all figured out, but I am one now, and it turns out we don’t. Sometimes fear snatches my heart and I can’t seem to think of anything else. I forget to relax and to enjoy you. I forget to smile and to laugh. I’m working on that.
I miss it when I am lost. I’m struggling with my own demons and it has nothing to do with you. Sometimes it’s anxiety or it’s depression, but it’s never, ever your fault. I will keep striving for wholeness so that when you reach those obstacles I can help you do the same.
I know that it is easy to hang on to the negative things and forget all the positive, but I want to set the record straight. When I look at you I am SO. PROUD. When I look at you I see good. I see someone who is mighty. I wonder how I have been trusted with such a treasure. Your heart is pure and soft. You are gentle and kind, you are vivacious and fierce.
I am forever your biggest cheerleader and your greatest fan.
Please keep helping me to see you and to know you. Keep telling me when I hurt your feelings. Keep sharing with me your fears and your insecurities and we will figure it out together.
I’m okay with making mistakes, but I’m never okay with losing your heart. Your heart is what matters to me.
I hope that my weakness teaches you something. I hope that when you come upon your own brokenness, tiredness, fear, and confusion, that you will be okay with it. I pray that your imperfections won’t scare you as they have me. I pray that you won’t run from them, but that you’ll wrestle with them and you will keep showing up, saying sorry, and trying again.
We don’t always get it right and that’s okay.
We are all professional mistake makers, and you will make lots and lots of mistakes. You will make countless amounts of mistakes, just like I have, but not one could darken the light I see when I look at you. You are my treasure, you are my reason.
Even though life is racing by, sometimes we have a moment. Sometimes we can reach out, grab time, and hold it. The world stops, all is quiet, and we really see each other. In this moment when I glimpse at the person you are and who you’re becoming, all I can think is…
On this morning, where it seems you’ve grown overnight, I want to tell you that you are wonderful. You amaze me everyday – and as I watch you, you inspire me. You inspire me to pull out the greatness that’s inside me. In this family we will make mistakes, but we will keep doing it together and we will keep holding each other other tight.
It turns out I’m never, ever, going to be perfect, but I am always and forever yours, and I’m always and forever on your team. That I can promise you.
I love you.
She took that step. The one that she had been watching draw near. The one that she knew to be true and right. The step towards a more authentic, purposeful life.
She took that step into the unknown. The one that she had been fearing. The one that she worried would change her whole world.
She took that step while no one was cheering. Accompanied only by her dreaming soul and warrior heart. Poised for impact, dreading the worst, uncertain of what may come.
But she took that step ...
She took that step and the ground didn't tremble.
She took that step and the sky didn't fall.
She took that step and the oceans didn't surge.
She took that step and the thunder didn't roll.
No … her outer world didn't fall apart, but her inner world fell together. Insecurities and outdated beliefs crumbled away. Courage found a stronger foothold. Hope took flight. Freedom danced in delight.
She took that step and now she is certain. And now she is thankful that her whole world is changing.
I have been really tired lately
And by lately,
I mean the last year
I have always been able
to rise to the occasion
I have been able to rally
no matter what.
I could will myself
to do most anything.
But this year
I just couldn't.
And it completely freaked me out
I was burnt out
It has been humbling
I can see how much of my identity
how much my sense of self
is wrapped up
in what I am able to do
in how I am able to contribute
in how useful I am
So when I couldn't
stop hitting snooze
when I noticed in conversations
I had stopped listening minutes ago
and when I found myself reading
but not comprehending
I first did what I know to do
I pushed harder
I got more disciplined
or at least I tried to
But there was no gas left in the tank
I just couldn’t will myself
to be how I used to be.
The spark I have always had
that had set my life on fire
in the best and worst ways
and I have been worried
that I lost what made me
A few days ago
I woke up inspired
This is the closest I have felt
And it felt like the deepest breath
I am not gone
So I want to share with you some of what I did
to get me back
in hopes it helps you
if you are teetering around burnout
and feeling wiped out too
I slept, sleep is my number one priority
I am a messy messy not so stable human without it.
I walked, every day, I walked, no matter how slow
I moved my body, every day.
I stopped living in response to everyone else's needs
It used to be that if I got an email from somebody
I felt bad if I didn't answer it within a few hours
I was literally consumed by all the people
I felt responsible to
and their every request was running me.
I wrote every day
I journaled till my hands hurt
When upset or ecstatic or in pain
I dug in, before talking to anyone.
I wrote, I wrote so much
I cleaned up my diet
and stopped being ashamed
that I really feel best when eating a specific way
that I know works for me.
I unfollowed everyone on social media
that didn't feel like a value add
If they were not inspiring, informative, thought provoking,
or someone I cared about
I made a list of everything
that was causing me anxiety
I prioritized friendships that are a value match
I stopped engaging with people/"friends"
who only reached out to me to ask for something
This one was hard
I felt guilty at first
I do love helping
I do get energy from it
but I was leaking too much
I was extending too much
and got clear it was completely unsustainable
and I was feeling hurt and unseen regularly
I shook things up
I intentionally said yes to things
that I knew would challenge me
and have me so outside my comfort zone.
I would have no chance of feeling the apathy
that was slowly creeping over me
So these are just a few of the things I did
to help turn the lights back on.
I am grateful,
deeply deeply grateful.
I hope you pay attention to the warning signs for you
I hope you learn to listen before it is too late
The body, the mind, the heart, the spirit
have an amazing capacity to heal
and come back stronger
if we are willing to listen
truly listen to the spoken and unspoken
to take pause
and take action
There a way you need
to take better care
The HAPPINESS JAR is a project I started in my own life many years ago, and it has remained a practice that I've tried to keep up with regularity ever since. (Though I do slip and forget, because I get lazy and overwhelmed sometimes by life, as we all do.) But in its essence, the HAPPINESS JAR is a very simple idea — every single day, at the end of the day, I grab a scrap of paper and I write down the happiest moment of that day. And I put the date on it. And then I fold up the note and stick it in the jar.
It takes about 35 seconds to do, but what it brings me is enormous — not only the pleasure of finding a good moment in each day (for even the horrible days have one least-bad moment) but the lasting benefits of recording that moment forever.
I am continually amazed at how simple my happiest moment of the day usually is. It is hardly ever a moment of explosive achievement or delirious excess. For all my striving and all my ambitions and all my seeking of remarkable experiences, it is important to recognize that my happiest moments are generally really common and quiet and unremarkable. In fact, my happiest moment each day is usually just a glance of something sweet and small, a bit of sun on my face, a pleasant encounter on the sidewalk, a cool glass of water at just the right instant, the cat-like contentment after a nap, a glimpse of a bird just out of the corner of my eye, a recognition of some tiny lovely thing.
What are the rules, you ask?
- there aren't any rules! I have no idea! I just made this thing up, because it works for me! It's YOUR happiness; you may do absolutely whatever you like with it, sweet friends! Put whatever you like in there — whatever brings you peace or joy. And when your jar fills up (which I dearly hope it shall) just make another one. Read them if you like; leave them quietly folded if you prefer. And you can make it out of an old tissue box if you want! The vessel is not the magic part; the vessel is just the vessel. What's inside is simply — very simply — the best part of your life on earth.
So that is the HAPPINESS JAR project, dear friends.
I send you blessings from my jar to yours, and all my love…
It’s amazing how another year has flown by. The year was full of the usual ups and downs but there was always a valuable lesson to be learned.
I try my best not to look back at the negative stuff and look forward to what’s to come!
So instead of telling you all about the challenges and sad events, I thought I’d share a personal positive wish this year for you and me.
My wish is that everyday we get healthier.
Physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Making part of our everyday life a combination of physical activity, positive connections with others, and constant learning.
And I think a good place to start is with giving of ourselves.
I truly believe by giving of ourselves we can’t help but want to be our best.
Here’s to an incredible 2017 for us all!
To think about it, is to miss it.
One cannot think their way toward a peaceful and joyful way of being, one can only allow these qualities to show themselves as already present. Think about that, for just a moment.
I Insert my Random Dolly Parton post here. I heard this song before work this morning and I just love the words and the meaning behind it. Even though I have never witnessed it personally, the love of the married couple in this song and for family is beautiful.
“Wherever you go you can find something to complain about.”
I believe in being grateful and with that accepting anything and all that happens in my life at any moment, and moving forward the best way that I can.
People who are grateful have realized that you can not have the rainbow without the rain. They see rainy days as a normal part of life rather than an aberration, and learn from the rain rather than just wait for it to go away. They admire the beauty of the rose even though it has its thorny side, and savor the sweet taste of honey even though the bee can sting. Realizing you can not have one without the other, they are grateful for both.
I take comfort in the fact that once the sun sets, it rises the next day. I have faith that there is more to life.
I realize that good things do not always happen to good people, and I have given up the notion that life “owes me” anything more than it can offer.
Finding reasons to feel blessed and grateful and letting go of the unfairness of life's lessons is my toughest struggle. With time, however, I realized gratitude meant being at peace with my life and
circumstances, finding happiness and letting to go of the fears that once consumed
me. It was also a way to fully appreciate the good things I had overlooked and taken for granted in the past. I wanted to feel better, and I finally understood I had to stop dwelling on the unfairness and find gratitude to achieve this.
My infinite gratitude to all who have received, blessed, shown interest in and cared for me.
Finally, my love and gratitude to every being who has graced my life with a look, with a word, with kindness, with compassion, or with just your presence. I am grateful for all of you whom I've had the pleasure to get to know and I am equally grateful for all of you whom I've not met, but are a beautiful part of my life and my miracle.
I give thanks.
With deepest gratitude,
Combining life thoughts and the joy of all things spooky in the Halloween air is very enjoyable. I read the verse below and right away had to analyze it and incorporate it into my everyday thinking.
My life has surely led me down some unknown paths and plenty of gates. What is important to recognize is that the easiest of lifes challenges are not really challenges at all. Taking the wide gate is easy, making the wrong friends is easy, finding love in someone that is not good for you is easy. Stealing is easy.
So when you get to the wrong gate, how do you know?
What exactly is this verse telling us? Take notice of the world and how you experience it. Take notice of the people that try to enter our lives and what their intentions are. The most important meaning to this verse to me was actually deciding what I really care about. Priorities and Happiness are very important to me. Being goal driven and finding complete happiness takes work and when you choose the right gate and the right road the entire world will open up to you.
“Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”– The King James Bible
The trees are so beautiful that sometimes they overwhelm me. But I remember a time when I chose not to see them. When I was young, my parents would point out the trees as we drove through the country. Why would I care about those old trees and their falling leaves? But now I see the trees and I want everyone to notice how beautiful they are (just ask my kids). When we are surrounded by beauty and we notice and acknowledge, it takes us to a higher place. Not only does it feel good, but we can easier access the beauty inside of us.
The trees let go of their leaves so they can get quiet and still and begin again. We accept this in trees, but do we acknowledge this in ourselves? Do we let go of what we no longer need or what no longer serves us? Too often we hold on fearing that nothing new will come. But something new always comes, that’s the cycle of life. Trees don’t worry whether or not their leaves will come back – they let them go and trust they will grow and thrive another season. Letting go of what you no longer need is part of growth, and letting go creates space for new things. I hope you all enjoy this beautiful fall season in all of its beauty.
To buy a new home or build one, I am torn. I have spending a lot of time wishing I was at home and wanting my own. What a big confusing mess I have created in my brain. I thought after all of this time, the important things in life like finding someone to share it with and a home to share it in was all I needed. What I really needed to realize is that instead of the freedom to move where I chose and be with who I chose, I need the freedom to live a meaningful life. Spending all of our time focused on what we have not found yet or do not have, is wasting precious time to enjoy the life we already have.
This is something that is really hard to wrap my brain around, as I am a planner. I always know what I want (most of the time) and I always plan and replan until something works.
I literally spend most of my time awake doing this, and then poof...the day is gone and I had spent it planning next week.
Unusual mornings bring unusual posts. :)
Don't be a crab in the bucket – its the tendency crabs have for pulling other crabs back down, right when they’re about to climb out. When you break from the norm, you’ll get pushback from your loved ones and people around you. Its not jealousy – they genuinely care for us. But people living the life society tells them to live get scared when they see others going for it. Even if they do it subconsciously, and even if it’s out of genuine concern – its still harmful. It creates a culture of conformity, mediocrity, and quiet desperation.
The saying "Don’t be a crab in the bucket" means if I can't have it neither can you. What a wonderful saying to think about. We should all be filled with dreams and we should also be there to support others dreams.
So what's your dream? I hope it comes true and it is all that you wish for!
Watching the old movie Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and As I sat in the dark and watched the young men in the movie, one of the lessons in the first part of the story hit me fresh and clear.
Joseph told his dream to the wrong people at the wrong time.
Being naive, he thought his brothers would rejoice with him when he shared his dreams with them. Instead, it caused their jealousy to turn to hatred of him and the favor of the father on his life.
Many times in my own life, I have been too quick to share what God is showing me about the future with others. The truth is not everyone is called to share your dreams. There are circumstances and life issues people deal with that get in the way of their ability to 'rejoice with those who rejoice'. Just because you are there for other people does not mean they are capable of being there for you.
Wisdom teaches us to wait and be careful about our conversation and 'the pearls of our hearts'. I would even tell you to guard your dream and thus protect the words being spoken over it. I want life spoken into my life and future. God is always faithful to raise up armor bearers and encourages to share in what He wants to bring to pass in your life.
We must also wait for His timing. Sometimes in our own personalities, we run ahead of His timing and that is why we have a tendency to tell the wrong people what He is speaking to us. But His timing is perfect and when we wait for Him to open the doors and make the way clear we will see the people He has already put in position to be a part of the fulfillment of the vision He had given.
“The world is too much with us,” the poet William Wordsworth wrote. We’ve all been there: overwhelmed by never-ending to-do lists, overflowing inboxes, the demands of work and home life, the friends we adore and the organizations we support. When we feel chaos is closing in, we need to retreat to our happy place.
“Everyone should have a place where you can go to feel safe and happy,”
The purpose of this post? I am guessing it is saying to me, to get out somewhere this weekend and find something beautiful. Heading out to find my happy place.
If you have never read the writings of William Wordsworth, this is the writing in full...
The World Is Too Much With Us BY WILLIAM WORDSWORTH
The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;—
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.
What is your truth? The playful part of discovering you is deciding right now, what is real.
You may have to follow me a bit on this, as I am currently in my own construction zone. Discovering what is true and real in life, is a huge AHA moment. The realness of life. The truth of life. RIght now, is what is real. My example, is this. spend day after day worrying, overthinking and dreaming only to discover that all that really was real was the moment that I had while I was doing this.
So.... Woosaa. Time to chill and relax. What is real at this moment? To hear life fully let go of what you want for tomorrow. Let go of the story of who you think you are. Do you feel like you are right? Feeling divided? The moment that we start commenting or describing what we believe is the truth is the moment that is disappears.
THE point... if you are having a disagreement about the color of a flower....You are missing the beauty of the flower. It is not about the color or your feeling of being right. None of that matters. The only thing that matters is the moment that you have to enjoy the flower. To get to this point, letting go is mandatory. Gossip and drama does not matter. Angry and hurtful people do not matter. Bills and financial goals do not matter. THE point... is right now all is good and well. And right now is all that matters. It is really hard to find this freedom in thought, it is not overnight. It is easy to backtrack and get caught up in stress and drama, get past it quickly by bringing yourself to the present moment.
I hope that you have a beautiful day, that right now, this very moment, you find some happiness. Put all of your worries away and look around you. It is all right there. Do something you enjoy, find a hug, give a hug. Plant some flowers. Enjoy now, breathe it in. It is all that we have. This moment. :)
Life is right now. Life is what image you see when you think of it. Real is right now. The story that exists in our minds of what will happen someday. Is just an idea. Someday I want this and someday I want that. So how do we simplify what is happening? Traditionally man does not like life to be simple. It likes to be complex because this way the mind feels important. So what does all of this mean? Who I am exists in my mind story. What will happen someday is my story. What kind of home I will have, who I will marry, and if I will open my own business. That you and this me is just an idea. Tension arises when you try to protect that idea.
When will I get that new car or new couch? My neighbors have a pool. When will I get one? Tension and fear come from wanting to "be something". So back to Tig, the doorway to life's happiness is "what is real and true"? The mind creates a problem, and the mind says " give me something to do". This is always about the future. It is always about a goal or something that we do not have or have not achieved.
Our job is not to think about the future. See what is real right now and try not to figure out what is next. Lay down the content in your mind and be what you know...just be you.
Just... be ...here.
Where are you going? Everywhere you end up, will always be what already is.
There is nothing new at the end of the road, for all destinations are contained within what you
Therefore, enjoy the drive. Here, there is as much beauty is there is over there.
You are already home...
An open mind is the same as an open road. .. as we awaken the most beautiful views show up... of course they were always there... we just hadn't arrived yet... may you all enjoy the ride.
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle
I wake up. I take a look outside.
I take a breath in and just appreciate where this dream has taken me.
I have starting taking discovery walks.
It’s important to remember that there is always something new to be discovered in our everyday environments. Go on a walk and commit to finding new interesting things. It is beautiful!
It is 4:00 am and life is waiting to unfold for the day. I had this post stuck in my head for a few days and it all came to light while I was sitting outside with my sweetgirl Saucy this morning. The dynamics of life literally made me see things a little differently this morning. I spend a lot of time wishing and waiting for the life I long to live. Bucket lists are all in place and the dream of being on a farm, having a business, seeing my children all grown and happy, and living a life that is free from stress and filled with happiness is right there. I tried to rethink my ideal that if life is free to enjoy and the world is a beautiful place and that it is meant for true happiness, why are some many people struggling to survive? Should surviving be first on our list? Why not wake up everyday and live the life that we want without facing a huge struggle. I know that sounds harsh, but the answer is there. The answer is as simple as this. It is like looking for your glasses and they are right there on top of your head. Spending hours trying to find your car keys when they are right there on the table. It is this complication that makes life so hard to enjoy every moment. So today, life is right there. Waiting for you. Waiting for me. It is right in front of us. Waiting for us to play :)
Oh to enjoy each day and find your way. Spending more time walking barefoot, wearing what I am comfortable in and enjoying the freedom in traveling with no destination. I hope your day is beautiful.
Keeping it real...some thing that I have been trying to do lately is that. Trying to find a way to still be myself when nothing is about me anymore. Struggles are so great for everyone and I am sure you have a long list as well. Not everyone is going to have the same challenges in life and sometimes the things that bother us the most are things that do not show up in our photo's. Invisible to others but they continue to eat at our souls until we have resolved them. So this is me , on a day that was nice. It is easy to post a photo after we have done our hair and picked out the perfect clothes, but on this day I did none of the above. I don't live near the ocean. I live on a small street in a small town in Missouri. In a small house. So my outlook is starting to change. Keeping it real. Wearing my sweatpants when I want. Brushing my hair less, maybe even cleaning less. Keeping it all together on the inside is much easier for me when I am not trying to keep it all together on the outside. I love gardening and am going to make this the best season ever, all while making a mess, lol. I read once, that one of your goals should be that when you have people over to your house, they should leave feeling better about themselves, not feeling better about you. And that totally meant why do I spend 4 hours cleaning when I know someone is coming by for 5 minutes? I must be crazy. So here I go, off to work and all the while ...keeping it so real people will be wondering all day what the heck is wrong with me :) and if your feeling the same way.... take the challenge and start just being you :)