What is True... is that in this moment as I read these words that I have written to myself, -everything in this moment- is fine.
This means something to me today. I have changed the way that I think about life and what is true. So what does this mean?
It means that right now, right this minute and every moment that I have, all is well. I have spent numerous hours, minutes, weeks and days, analyzing what happened yesterday, and what is going to happen tomorrow. I am really happy that after 49 years, I am able to start overcoming this pattern of creating problems in my mind. I understood the words I heard last week about peeling potatoes from Tiger. It said, (and this is so me), I am standing there peeling potatoes and I am thinking about my life, thinking about people that hurt me, or people that I have hurt. I am thinking about, what could happen tomorrow and the worry is really filling my head with anxiety.
BUT all I am really doing is peeling potatoes. Right at this very moment while I am writing or while I am peeling those potatoes, ALL is good. Nothing else matters.
Learning to enjoy the moment that we are in, brings a feeling of peace I have never known. It puts me here, where nothing else matters. (Sounds like an old Metallica song). Really, nothing else does matter. Right now matters. Retraining our thought process to forget about pain and hurt is tough.
I am not really to the point where I am actually forgetting and the hurt is completely gone, but I am in a better place. A place where I feel happy and safe.
Right now, everything is fine.
Rinse, repeat. HA!
So, here I am, just like you. We are ok, and nothing else matters.
We are the miracle happening right now.
Keeping it real...some thing that I have been trying to do lately is that. Trying to find a way to still be myself when nothing is about me anymore. Struggles are so great for everyone and I am sure you have a long list as well. Not everyone is going to have the same challenges in life and sometimes the things that bother us the most are things that do not show up in our photo's. Invisible to others but they continue to eat at our souls until we have resolved them. So this is me , on a day that was nice. It is easy to post a photo after we have done our hair and picked out the perfect clothes, but on this day I did none of the above. I don't live near the ocean. I live on a small street in a small town in Missouri. In a small house. So my outlook is starting to change. Keeping it real. Wearing my sweatpants when I want. Brushing my hair less, maybe even cleaning less. Keeping it all together on the inside is much easier for me when I am not trying to keep it all together on the outside. I love gardening and am going to make this the best season ever, all while making a mess, lol. I read once, that one of your goals should be that when you have people over to your house, they should leave feeling better about themselves, not feeling better about you. And that totally meant why do I spend 4 hours cleaning when I know someone is coming by for 5 minutes? I must be crazy. So here I go, off to work and all the while ...keeping it so real people will be wondering all day what the heck is wrong with me :) and if your feeling the same way.... take the challenge and start just being you :)