You will hear me repeating this over and over until you probably cannot take it anymore. lol Living in your beauty, and being happy is something that does not happen easily for all of us, and when it hit's you, when you can accept it and make it happen, it is amazing. I spent many years trying to be the way people thought i should be. I worried every day that I was the person I should be in their eyes. I forgot who I was, and like magic...BOOM. I started being me, now I have to give props to Tiger, and his school of blooming. He has no idea I have a blog and has no idea that I am a fan, but check him out on the links below, if you feel like you are in a place that makes no sense anymore.
It is time to be you, and for me, the feeling cannot be explained. I have literally gone from spending most of my days worried about others being angry or not liking who I am. Spending time doing things I did not want to do, wearing what I did not like to being me. My own brand of happiness. Some might say it is called letting your hair down, I stopped doing everything that was expected of me and do what I want to do every moment. Because that is all we really have, this moment right now.
So previously, I had used some of the scenario's that were presented to me by Tigmonk. He says to me, the world is my playground. OK. That while I am peeling potatoes, that is all that is really happening, I am just peeling potatoes. Now, this story related to me so much. I cannot do anything usually without thinking about my entire life and who is upset with me while I do it. Does this sound like you? If it does, it is time to let it go and give it a change. The old me, before about 2 weeks ago, did everything I was supposed to do. I would never want anyone to judge me, or ask why I am doing what I am doing. The new me, still cares about all of humanity and I care about people being happy and healthy. But I no longer worry about one single thing while I peel those potatoes. I spend a lot more time dancing, and hugging my dog. I make every moment like my last moment.
Sound strange? The freedom is amazing and you get to enjoy being you. Who are you? Are you like me, a girl that really just wants to braid her hair, throw on some old boots and ride a horse? :) Not kidding. Try it. So message to self: Live in the beauty that you already are, get it? Spend every moment celebrating yourself over and over. Be you and be happy. Make your home a place you love, and make it comfortable and happy for you and your family. Put all of those worries away. Enjoy your day and enjoy being you. Always.
Oh yes, you know you just want to be yourself. It sounds like an easy achievement, doesn't it? I am going to wake up and walk my dog and just be myself. I am going to be myself. Ok. I can say it until I am blue in the face, for some reason being myself, is harder to do than I thought. You may notice as you go through life that people really like you but they do not like you when you are yourself. Make sense? It is part of becoming your true authentic self. Mine is telling me to stop thinking about brushing my hair or wearing a certain shirt out in public, because other's are expecting me to conform to their expectations. Like the song, who are you when I'm not looking, who are you when you are alone and get to be the real you. Do you slide down the hallway in your socks? Bounce on your bed when the kids are at school? Sing to the top of your lungs in the car like you are on American Idol?
Waking up and deciding to be the real you will change your happiness for life. If you are generally a happy person and life loving, adding the freedom of actually being you in every moment will make each day much more enjoyable.
Try noticing when you get quiet, when you stop singing, when you don't wear what you want how you feel. Then pick a day, any day, to mess your hair up a little, wear those sweats or boots people stare at. The other day I actually went to work without combing my hair, and I wore my dirty old converse with some sweats. WOW! I was so comfortable, and internally happy. Not a worry in the world, previously I would have been majorly concerned that everyone thought I was a slob, but in reality I was just being me. Perfectly unperfect.
So where are we headed with all of these ideas? A revolution? A break through? Where people can just be happy and stop caring what their neighbor drives, what your house looks like or what you have on when you walk outside? Maybe. Maybe it is time for everyone to realize that our short time here, is the only chance we get. We collect ideas in our head of what we want our life to be like and spend years trying to make it happen. When right now, we already have what we need to be happy. It is all that matters.
What are you waiting for? Grab that old tshirt and put a braid in your hair. Put the windows down in the car and sing that song as loud as you want. Wear that glitter lip gloss and big sunglasses and just fly by the seat of your pants. Be you, really be you.
Have you heard the term "she's a mess" or "she is a train wreck"? Whoa is me. Lol. Seriously I am a complete mess internally and externally. From total chaos in my crafting and ideas from one to the next to the lack of organizing the stacks and piles of supplies I am constantly dragging in. Add all of that to a totally unorganized lifestyle and it is getting to be something that is completely overwhelming.
So first things first, make a list, that is what I do. I make multiple lists daily, weekly, monthly and yearly. I file everything, I mark off everything. I am on a mission to make this chaos disappear from my life completely.
So along with my life journey to happiness, I am also including a journey to organization and cleaning up my life. After all. how will I be able to hit the road in my gypsy wagon or glamper if I am dragging all of this stuff around with me?
So, this day marks a new beginning of dejunking the 35 years of accumulating stuff. Oh man, it is lot's of stuff and this is going to be so amazing! (haha) So fun and free (oh my) and much needed.
What I know about happiness is this:
That life can be really hard, and bad times will certainly come. It is how we cope with it to maintain a happy place in our heart that matters. Not all of my blog posts are public, and I have been thinking of posting them soon after the dust settles. I have had some really bad days, weeks and months within the past year when I have questioned everything about life.
What I do differently changes depending on what day it is. I may be going back and forth from my happy place to a non happy place...lol.
So where I am with this is actually recognizing that all that really matters is right now. This concept seems so strange, and I have to keep reminding myself of it many times a day. I guarantee if you do this it will change you and the way your life is unfolding. What is hard to absorb is that for 49 years I have been thriving off of stress and the reaction needed to correct the mess.
Now, what this means. Say it many times over and over. Last year and last month and yesterday when something happened that hurt or stressed us out ruined many a day, will be no more. Because, none of that matters. I know our brains tell us that it matters, because we miss people and we have regrets and moments of sadness. But really when it all comes down to it, all that really matters is right now. It matters where you are and that you are here reading this. Nothing else. Because right at this moment all is well.
How do I know this? and how can I believe this? A big thank you to Tiger Singleton, and his amazing ways taught through his school of blooming. SShhh he does not know I am writing about him today...lol. But really find him on Facebook and get yourself some great inspiring starts to your day.
Try the all is well thing a few times today. You have to catch yourself, while you are standing there in the kitchen worrying, and say all is well. right this moment, I am happy and am enjoying my life, right this moment. You will have to tell yourself this about 400 times the first month. I giggle when I say this because it may even appear that you are talking to yourself a bit more. JUST DON'T GIVE UP. Promise yourself that you will give it a few days, do not spend any time worrying about your ex or bills or the neighbors. Don't worry about your mom or your sister going out shopping without you. Let everyone around you be, and enjoy your moment. You are going to love this!
What is True... is that in this moment as I read these words that I have written to myself, -everything in this moment- is fine.
This means something to me today. I have changed the way that I think about life and what is true. So what does this mean?
It means that right now, right this minute and every moment that I have, all is well. I have spent numerous hours, minutes, weeks and days, analyzing what happened yesterday, and what is going to happen tomorrow. I am really happy that after 49 years, I am able to start overcoming this pattern of creating problems in my mind. I understood the words I heard last week about peeling potatoes from Tiger. It said, (and this is so me), I am standing there peeling potatoes and I am thinking about my life, thinking about people that hurt me, or people that I have hurt. I am thinking about, what could happen tomorrow and the worry is really filling my head with anxiety.
BUT all I am really doing is peeling potatoes. Right at this very moment while I am writing or while I am peeling those potatoes, ALL is good. Nothing else matters.
Learning to enjoy the moment that we are in, brings a feeling of peace I have never known. It puts me here, where nothing else matters. (Sounds like an old Metallica song). Really, nothing else does matter. Right now matters. Retraining our thought process to forget about pain and hurt is tough.
I am not really to the point where I am actually forgetting and the hurt is completely gone, but I am in a better place. A place where I feel happy and safe.
Right now, everything is fine.
Rinse, repeat. HA!
So, here I am, just like you. We are ok, and nothing else matters.
We are the miracle happening right now.
Do you feel it when you look? The beauty of a fall leaf is stunning. I could look at them all day. As a matter of fact, I am going to jog on over to my home decor blog page (the link is above) to display some beautiful photo's of the tree's and leaves that I adore so much.
As fall approaches, I find myself really digging deep to become the person that I long to be. I woke up one day and realized that this wonderful life experience I am having is going by rather quickly and it is time to be me, and live the way I need to live to be happy every moment.
At first, I had no clue how I could make this happen successfully, and at the end of each day I am noticing that it is unfolding right before my very eyes. Nothing matters except right this moment.
Not yesterday and not tomorrow, this very moment is all that we have.
By learning to accept this as the truth, I have been able to answer all of those questions in my head that go on and on. Or should I say, old questions. Why is she so mean? Why did he hurt me? Why did that happen? What will happen tomorrow?
And many more, the questions are gone, and if right now, you learn to accept this moment as the only moment that matters, the peace that will come and the place where you are, will become so enjoyable.
Try it, nothing else matters. Say it. Mean it. Live it. Nothing else matters. It does not matter what they said about you or what they did. What only matters right now is ... right now. Reading this, watching tv, walking the dog. Whatever you are doing, is what matters. Nothing else. Just this moment. Keep saying it.
When you feel yourself slipping look at the sky or a tree. Find something amazing and say, right now matters. That is all. Say it, feel it and mean it. You will find your true happiness for life. Let's keep talking about it, I will keep posting and you keep reading.
And every moment will be beautiful.
If I were a proponent of anything, it would be for you to remain as the truth of what you already are. Which is also to say, for you to be unapologetically You; all of You, which includes the Rawness of being Human.
The RawnessLet’s clarify. How much mental, emotional, and physical energy is spent on trying to avoid the natural flow in life? I’m speaking about internal resistance to what naturally arises within and all around you. If sadness happens, do you fight it and wish for it to go away? If anger happens, do you condemn yourself and proclaim that ‘someone like you’ shouldn't feel this way?
The question is, do you surrender to Life? Or, do you swim up stream with an argument that says life missed the memo about how it was ‘suppose’ to unfold? This is to say that your expectation is more valuable than the reality of reality.
The Rawness of Being Human, points to the natural You. The You that moves before the mind's commentary of right and wrong. The You that breathes before the imaginary you tries to breathe.
What exists that is in opposition to the Rawness of You? Omg… this is such a great question.
I’m asking, is there anything real that argues with the natural you, or is the argument just conditioned thought, sprung from a society that is simply insecure and afraid. Take sexuality for example… remember way back when, in a time when the woman was not encouraged to express herself sexually? (yes, still going on)
What is that? You see, there is this Rawness of sexuality where the human being is clearly with a sexual energy that moves from within. Is the conditioning that says it’s wrong, a real argument or opposition from Life, or is it a projection from the mind of man that is simply afraid to… ‘go there?’
Such a thing, especially within a male, can bring about tremendous insecurity when it is seen that a woman has tremendous sexual power that is more real than a man’s imaginary ego.
The same can be said about emotions. The collective fear says… Don’t express that emotion, because when I feel it in myself it makes me uncomfortable. Which is really to say, I don’t like being honest, and your emotions force me to see my own lack of sincerity.
Oh snap. We are really getting into it right now. lol.
Rawness, is SincerityIf there was a solution to overcoming fear, the key would be that of Sincerity. To sincerely be, with the movement that moves in right now. To not avoid the truth of what is, and to not hide from this truth as if it was wrong just because conditioning says so. Remember, social conditioning for the most part, is a movement to avoid insecurity. Which, humorously, is only to reinforce the reality where insecurity is a real thing.
For myself in this experience of life, or this… visit to Earth the Rawness of Being Human is expressed through the embrace of all things. This is also to say the embrace of any rejection to anything. Hmmmm, sounds like a contradiction to say… I embrace All things, and to say… I embrace my rejection of all things.
How can you embrace all things, while embracing your rejection of something? Isn’t this an acknowledgment that says I don’t embrace all things?
No, it’s simply being sincere. It’s like looking at ‘worry.’ Embracing all things while embracing the rejection of something is similar to embracing anxiety, without having anxiety about the anxiety. If anxiety or worry arises, because it’s what naturally arises, then it serves as a gift that points to a lesson to be discovered. However, if I rejected the anxiety in a way that says it shouldn’t be, or it’s wrong, then I turn away from any lesson that might be waiting to be seen.
The deeper question being asked, is am I being guided by sincerity or by a socially conditioned expectation birthed through fear? Often times, there is a fear to break away from this conditioning, to go out on your own authority without looking to society or others, to tell you what is natural or sincere. This of course is the invitation though, to see deeply that within you is a completion of self, a unity, an unapologetic movement that is whole.
The point is to embrace what arises, not to embrace an expectation of what should arise. As in, I will embrace the energy of anxiety as the current moment’s teacher, rather than embracing an expectation that says I shouldn’t be with anxiety. There is a profound shift in our relationship with the moment, where we fall into Life rather than running away from Life.
Sincerity is the embrace of what is; not hiding from a truth that threatens the imaginary you. Haha, reminds me of Sincerity in intimate relationships. How it is that we tend to avoid sincerity because we want to make sure our partner perceives us a certain way so they live up to an expectation we’ve placed on them. So we avoid communicating how we truly feel, out of fear their opinion of us might change. Which, humorously, is to proclaim that your wholeness of being exists partly in the thoughts of other people. hahaha. So silly we are.
Rawness of FailurePart of the major fear with our Rawness, is the concern that who you are will end up in utter failure. I ask you… Failure in what sense?
Failure in the sense that you don’t live up to a social expectation? Uh oh… do you really want to go here?
You see, we’ve missed the point of Living. The point of breathing, isn’t so you can get to next week’s event. The point of breathing is so that you can experience the reality of right now. (that’s so fucking profound dude, lol)
If you live a life with a focus of reaching an imaginary tomorrow, this is like living as you pretend to be something you are not so that you can be the fullness of you tomorrow. It is like living with anxiety in today, so you can be with peace in tomorrow. hahahaha.
This part cracks me up. The idea that failure is less important than its polar opposite which we will lightly call success. Do you notice that your profound moments of discovery, growth, or expansion have been birthed through something that could be perceived as failure? Do you see this?
Do you see that without the play of this polar opposite called failure, then success would never be experienced? And so, what is the point of living a life where one avoids the experience of failure?
Really, and I mean really, success and failure is the same thing, it is just one movement, one dance. So to avoid one side of the coin, is to avoid the fullness of the coin’s value. It’s like saying, I’m going to throw away the tails side of the coin, because I only want the head’s side of it. In your rejection of one side, you reject the whole damn coin. In your rejection of any one side of life, you reject all of Life. In your rejection of any part of you, you reject all of you.
Shhhhhhit… we could totally stop there. Actually yeah, let’s wrap it up.
To reject the Rawness of being Human, is to reject the fullness of what is. If there is anything to be rejected, reject that which is not real & embrace that which is real. What is not real, is the mental commentary that tells a story about an imaginary you.
To embrace all things, is to embrace the fullness of Reality, which is the fullness of right now. To embrace all, is to remain here in this moment. To reject this moment, to reject reality, is to chase an imaginary reality in the mind that exists only as thought in the form of conditioned expectations.
Return… to the Rawness of Life, and discover just how beautiful is, the Real You.
Cheers & Aloha
Following the journey to becoming my true authentic self with Tiger Singleton
Desperate Wanting & The Freedom to BeYou 'want' so desperately, so that you can be Free. You feel that if you got what you wanted, if Life became the Life you think it should be, then somehow it would make you feel whole and unburdened.
Do we see this? That what is being sought after in our movement as a human being, is the manipulation of Life and others, with the hope that we ourselves can be with Freedom; a Freedom where we are no longer a victim, a Freedom where we do not feel restricted, condemned, or unloved.
This is the only thing you seek.
And I cannot find the words, nor do they exists, to adequately describe the Truth that this Freedom is within you right now.
There is not a better Life, or Self, that exists somewhere in the future; you will always be left with what you are, and what you are has always remained the same since birth.
A world Free of poverty, will not rescue your soul. A world Free of hatred, will not heal the hate you have for yourself. A world Free of fear, will not end the fear you claim as your own.
Maybe you have just confused the point of living. Maybe you have become blinded to the truth that life is not about become something more, but it is about recognizing what you already are.
Life as it is now, must be as it is, in order for You to see what you are. All of these experience which we despise so intensely, are really your perfect creation; they are the gift.
Death, Disease, and Suffering, are of equal value to Life, Health, and Joy. The rain is equal to sunshine, the valley equal to the mountain, the north equal to the south: all things giving life each other, all things breathing in unison.
Without Death, there would be no Life; without rain, there would be no sunshine, without the north, there would be no south.
Your experience here on Earth, is temporary. It is simply a school ground to bloom, to unfold, but in Truth no one becomes harmed. For it is only a temporary play of the divine.
Rest in the deep truth that this moment is all you have. Give up the silly quest to fix a self that exists tomorrow, and simply be what you are now.
Discover Life as it is, rather than trying to fix a school ground which was never broken.
You are exactly where you are suppose to be.
All is well.
I love these posts from Tiger Singleton and am working very hard on getting to a place in my heart where I can enjoy and live for every moment. I will be sharing his links and beautiful words much more.
Keeping it real...some thing that I have been trying to do lately is that. Trying to find a way to still be myself when nothing is about me anymore. Struggles are so great for everyone and I am sure you have a long list as well. Not everyone is going to have the same challenges in life and sometimes the things that bother us the most are things that do not show up in our photo's. Invisible to others but they continue to eat at our souls until we have resolved them. So this is me , on a day that was nice. It is easy to post a photo after we have done our hair and picked out the perfect clothes, but on this day I did none of the above. I don't live near the ocean. I live on a small street in a small town in Missouri. In a small house. So my outlook is starting to change. Keeping it real. Wearing my sweatpants when I want. Brushing my hair less, maybe even cleaning less. Keeping it all together on the inside is much easier for me when I am not trying to keep it all together on the outside. I love gardening and am going to make this the best season ever, all while making a mess, lol. I read once, that one of your goals should be that when you have people over to your house, they should leave feeling better about themselves, not feeling better about you. And that totally meant why do I spend 4 hours cleaning when I know someone is coming by for 5 minutes? I must be crazy. So here I go, off to work and all the while ...keeping it so real people will be wondering all day what the heck is wrong with me :) and if your feeling the same way.... take the challenge and start just being you :)